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Dabogan29
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Name: Wonderful
Country: United States
Gender: Female
Interests: running around naked singing the oscar meyer weiner song. 
Expertise: streaking......
Occupation: Legal
Industry: Government
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/18/2002
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| Alright so.
I'm at Amanda's house. And, I'm not bored.. I am, however, in the mood to write a Xanga.
So here's my deal. I lost my password, which is annoying as fuck. So I had to go through all the trouble of trying to log into my old email accounts from like ten million years ago to have them email it to me. Really they just emailed me this link to change it. Whatever, though, 'cause I changed it to something I'm actually going to remember. Thank god.
So. I'm here. At Amanda's, and we're watching youtube videos, having a grand old time. It's fantasmo. We're making fun of people and watching this like.. 70's gameshow. It's funny. It's kind of a family fued type deal.. A game show network only type deal, says Amanda.
The camp reunion starts tomorrow, which, I might add... I'm fucking PUMPED for. Tomorrow is going to be a splendid day. I wake up, and we're going to get my hairs cut, so hopefully the day starts off right with my hair actually looking good. I'll be quite upset if I look like something that just crawled out of the depths of hell... Then, I have to go to work, which isn't going to be that big of a deal, because I'm either going to bring my guitar, or I'm going to bring my AP Lit. I SHOULD bring my AP Lit, but I think I may just bring my guitar instead. Then after work I'm either going to go to Amanda's, or just go get ready for the show.. 'Cause later tomorrow night I'm going with Becca to see Sparks, Cambiata, ASD, Cosades, and Radiation Year. UHM, can you say FUCKING AMAZING LINEUP? 'Cause I can. And I just did. Ugh, I'm so excited. Seriously. I haven't seen sparks in weeks. WEEKS. And it's killing me. For. Seriously.
Jake's going away party is on Sunday. That's the last day of the camp reunion, but I'm kind of skipping out of town early so Becca and I can go to it. =) I'm excited. I'll finally get to meet his fucking father, which I'm pumped for, because he sounds like a badass kind of guy.. THEN, later that night Becca and Jake and Andrew and I are going to the Boys Night Out, Scary Kids Scaring Kids show. I'm SO pumped for that. CANNOT WAIT.
SECTION EDITED OUT BECAUSE I'D ALREADY TALKED ABOUT IT IN THE LAST BLOG. I SUCK
Apparently Big D is coming back to Portland this year. =) Very excited, very excited. Cannot wait. Dan Gordon let me in on that one, and Becca is down because she's never seen them.. I love having a friend that'll go to shows with me. Jake is lame and is going away to college and can't join my fine ass on all these adventures, but at least I have her hot tits to go with me. I need SOMEBODY to squeal with when bands are being fantasmo right in front of me.
Can I just mention that Farewell is an extremely good band.. Just a BTW type deal. They fucking rock. I saw themmmm.. Last Monday because Jake's band Connery (yeah, like Sean Connery), was playing. Farewell is.. So fucking energetic and awesome. They're older, but amazing. Well, okay, they're not older. But they're definitely not 19. Hahaha. And they're CERTAINLY no Amour For The Broken, fucking 14 year olds, jesus christ. Either way, they're amazing. =) I Audio Hijacked the one song they have on their Myspace and have been listening to it like non stop since. It's a really good song to run to as well.. =)
fasdflakjsldfkja; So. I worked like every day this week. Today was the last day of that, thank god.. The reunion is starting up so I asked for Friday-Monday off because of it. I know nobody is going to see this that I work with, but I'm really excited to have those days off because for two of them I'll be with this totally cute boy I like a lot. Hahaha... I'm nervous though, 'cause I have to play the song I wrote for him. I just hope it goes alright.
FALKSflasjdflkajl;skdf. Ugh, the days left of summer are minimal and I just don't want to go back to school. Really I just don't want to face the fact that I actually have to do my fucking AP work. I'm lucky because my AP Stats teacher called and was like, HEY! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO YOUR SUMMER WORK ANYMORE! But I haven't even looked at history, and I have about 450 pages left in this book for AP Lit. Kill me now, please? Please? Maybe then I wouldn't be held accountable for this ridiculous amount of work. It's not that bad, though, at least the lit isn't.. The book is ten.. no.. FIVE MILLION times better than Wuthering Heights was. For anybody thinking of reading Brontë.. Don't. She sucks. I'm sorry Emily, but. You do. You suck. We had to write this stupid reccomendation.. As to like, whether we would tell people to read it or not. I was like.. No. I wouldn't suggest this book. The book is supposed to be a classic, but a classic is the type of book you can read hundreds of years after it was written, and still relate to it. While Wuthering Heights is a love story, and everybody can relate to a love story.. This is too different. It's not a classic, therefore I do not support it. Maybe that was a tad harsh, but, who knows. Either way, it's the shittiest book ever, and I really really hate it. It made me cry, and not in the good way. More like the, I'm seriously considering pushing myself off a bridge right now.. Way.
I really want to be held right now. Weird. I wasn't feeling that way, but right now I just got a pang like.. Logan, you need to be snuggled. Or kissed. Or something. Cuddling is probs about the best thing ever. Aside from Sparks, but that's kind of a given. That's one of the best things about having a boyfriend.. I love being touched, at least, when I want to be touched, hahahaha. So. I'm glad Jake likes me enough to lay a hand on me, in the good way. He's nice, and smart, and world you would like him a lot. He's fucking fantastic at guitar and I've got to say, I'm really really jealous. Like. Really. It's pretty much not fair because he's been playing for half as long as I have and he's fifteen times better than me. What a bitch. WHAT. A. BITCH. It's okay, 'cause.. Well. I have hot tits. Really. I do.
Ugh, I'm rambling, and it's stupid, but Amanda is off on her computer, and Jake is talking to other people, and I'm bored as shit, so I'm just.. Talking and talking.. Well, typing and typing. Sigh, I'll end at some point, but maybe just not now.
I'm really scared for senior year. I know it's supposed to be the best year of high school, but I'm afraid it'll go by the slowest for several reasons:
1) I'll constantly be counting down the days until graduation.
a. If I'm always counting down the days.. The hours.. The minutes until graduation, they'll go by more slowly. That's kind of a harsh reality.. So it sucks because I won't be able to help counting down. I hate HA, and I want to get out as fast as possible, but maybe that means not thinking about it as much as I will. At least, not as much as I Do now.
2) I'll constantly be counting down the days until I see Jake again
a. This one is probably going to make things go by even MORE slowly than the first. Just because I'll want it to come even more than graduation. Fucking hell. It's like how a watched pot never boils.. Well a counting Logan never sees her man. Shitballs. Again, I'll just have to find some way to not think about it.. Which is even more unrealistic than me not thinking about graduation all the time.
b. Yeah, it's just ridiculous.
Things that will make senior year go by faster:
1) I'll constantly be at Mock Trial Practice
a. Two hours a day. Seven days a week. Once the season really starts up we'll have a match per week. I'll spend so much time at practice, or working at home on my crosses and shyte the year will zoom by.
2) When I'm not at practice, I'll be at the gym
a. Every afternoon. Just something to do to keep myself busy and in shape. Plus it'll get rid of my stress. And take up more time that I won't be able to think about graduation.
3) Three AP classes and homework in all of them
a. Self explanitory.
So there you have it.
<3<3LoganDesAnges.
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| Got back from Bar Harbor a little while ago.
Kristina and I went, it was a lot of fun, and we even got some homework done, go us. The beach was really really nice today, however, it was a little hot.. I just wish the water wasn't so goddamn fucking cold, that'd make all the difference. She's watching her little brojah as of right now, but when her parents get home we're going to spend the night making sweet sweet beautiful love and watching Mean Girls. Hahahaha. I'm glad I got to go out somewhere today, 'cause there's too much stuff I need to be distracted from thinking about.
=(. It's so strange that the summer is almost over. That pretty soon I'll be in school, and he'll be in school, and we'll be well over a thousand miles away from eachother and life will suck balls. I'm not excited, to say the least. And it's hard, because I want him to be happy, and I know that he'll have so much fun, and it'll be so good for him, so on one hand I'm really really excited for him. I'm hoping that Chicago has everything he could ever want and more. But of course on the other hand I'm just really really sad. I didn't expect things to turn out the way they have, and I didn't expect what I'm feeling to be.. Well.. What I'm feeling. I thought things would be so different, I guess I was just taken by surprise. Senior year is going to start out being really really fucking hard to handle. Hopefully once MT starts up, and I'm busy every night of the week I won't have the time to sit and dwell on everything.. But I don't know if that's even going to work because as of right now I'm practically never home, and I'm always busy, yet I still think about it all the time. Esepcially this past week. It's been a rather sad week for Logan. Very sad. I don't even know what to say, or do, or feel. I feel like I don't even have time anymore to make more memories. And then I get flustered because I'm worried about the little time I have left, and I'm probably just wasting it.. But I can't help it. I can't help but think about it all the time, and how sucky it already is.. How sucky it's going to be all year. I want to just freeze time, but allow a few of us to still move around. I just want to stop everything and just sit around on the floor talking with him for hours.. Kissing, laughing, and talking.. But I know that's not possible.. I shouldn't think about stuff like that, because it just makes not having the ability to stop time so much worse.. Thinking about what good things could have happened only makes it worse because I always have to come back down to earth and realize that things just don't work out like that. I'm so frustrated. I hate this, and I hate not knowing what to do.
Somebody smack me.
So I work Saturday-Thursday.. Every day. Seriously.. Money money money. Which I'll need 'cause I'm going to Portland on the 26th, and then I'll probably just drive to Jake's house on the 27th.. 'Cause he leaves on the 29th.. Fuck. But yeah, it'll be good. Then Thursday night is when the camp kids come up and the reunion starts. Friday night, however, Becca and I will be rocking out with our cocks out to Sparks the Rescue, Cambiata, and ASD. So. Excited. SOO EXCITED. The one good thing about senior year is going to be all the shows Becca and I will attend together. I'm so glad she and I are getting close again.. I've missed her beautious face so muchos.. Seriously, though. Fucking.. Sum 41 on September 8th, with Amber Pacific and Monty Are I. Then on September 16th fucking PERMANENT ME, All Time Low, Four Year Strong, and The Starting Line. Jealous? You should be. Seriouslyyyy. And on August 26th we're going to see Boys Night Out and Scary Kids Scaring Kids. Hah, fuck you all. Fuck you alllllll. I'm so done with Hampden it's not even funny, and we've vowed that we're just going to say fuck it senior year. We'll go to school and interact with the people we have to, but fucking shit.. As soon as the weekend comes we're off to our shows and our friends and being with the people that really count. That, and I'm going to visit my Amanda every day of my life. Seriously. I'll be in Portland so much this coming year.. Except during Mock Trial, then it might be a little harder, which I'm not excited about trying to work around.. I just can't wait to get senior year over with, and if I can make it go by faster by just going to Portland all the time and going to great shows, well fuck, I will. That's the best way.. At least if I have things to do I won't think about how much my heart is like  .
New song obsession. Well, a few.
Kristina introduced me to this song called Scar by Missy Higgins.. It's soo good... SO GOOD.
GAH!
And Monster by Meg & Dia.
For sure.
Chris is learning this song that I love on guitar.. And hopefully when he comes back from his stupid college in October he'll teach it to me, and that way Kristina and I can sing it for the talent show.. We'll be singing it for Susan. Indeed.
Speaking of Susan, we sad Dan K at the beach today and it was fantabulous. He's so nice. =)
Sigh. I want time to go by faster so I can not be sitting at home alone wishing I was with othe people.. Maybe I'll just go rent the movie now and get out of the house.. Again. I don't think I've been in this house a full 24 hours all summer, and that's no joke. I spend as little time here as possible. Not because I don't get along with my family, or because I hate it. I'm just so busy, I just want to be out doing other things as long as I can.. I just.. Want to live wihle living is still really good.
<3<3Logan DesAnges. | | |
| Oh god.
Camp is over.
What to do?!
WHAT THE FUCK TO DO?!?!?! It's just kind of hard to believe it's all over. For the past three years camp has been basically the one thing to keep me going through the year.. Because.. You know, I had that to look forward to. I can't go back next year because I have to work to save up money for college. So what am I going to do!? I miss everybody already and it hasn't even been a week. It'll probs get better.. Because I'm going to see most of them.. Or at least, most of the ones that really mattered to me.. In less than a month. And then there are some that just live in the area.. Still. Even though camp is mostly about the people, I'm going to miss the whole deal. The whole.. Being away from my parents for two weeks. Staying with Amanda in the most disgusting room in camp history. Singing for nine hours a day. Yes, no joke. We sang for NINE hours a day. It was insane. But probably the best thing ever.. It's just nice to be around people that are interested in the same things you are... Nobody has to worry about being a dork because.. Well, think about it. We're at band camp so we're obviously at least a little bit dorky already..
Sigh.
OH FUCK.
So I just got about the worst news ever.
doormanjohn (12:49:11 AM): but the ug is closing anyways
FUCKING HELL. For the past two years UG has been like.. My saving grace.. Fucking hell. Like the thing I knew would be there every weekend.. Full of people that love me and want to give me lots of hugs. Ushies isn't like that.. I guess there goes any good shows in Bangor. Fuck. There goes ANY shows in Bangor.
Somebody please shoot me in the head now, kthnx.
I can't think about that right now.
Blegh.
SO. I've been really fucking busy since camp got out. I work, and the days I don't work I have lots of plans. Like.. Tomorrow I'm taking care of animals, then going to a street crafts fair.. Then to dinner and whatever. Friday I have to work, then I have to go back down to Augusta to see the grandparents before they leave to go back to Florida :'(. The Saturday is Jake's show. Sunday I work, then Amanda and I are going to go visit Jesse at Dysartttss.. Sigh. So busy. So busy.
At leasssst I get to see Jake on Saturday. Because, I'm not sure I could hold out much longer than that. Two fucking weeks. TWO FUCKING WEEKS. Not cool.. Oh well. Sighz. I miss him.
LFKAJSLDKFJ I don't even feel like writing anymore, that whole UG thing just put me in a completely terrible mood.
Gonna go.. Listen to music made by bands I'll probs never get to see again. At least not in Bangor.
Fuck.
no love. LoganDesAnges | | |
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So essentially I haven't written in this in so long. SO LONG.
I don't really feel like doing much of a fill in as to what's been going on since I last posted, becuase honestly, it hasn't been good up until the past few weeks. Things were awful, horrible, terrible.. No good. Very bad. I was an angry girl, hah. But in any case, I found my ways to deal with it, whether they were good coping skills or not, I'm not sure.. But they helped. I threw myself into working out, and that was the number one.. But now that things have turned around a bit I don't feel as much like I need to do it.. Buuuut, I still do, haha.
I still miss you. I think about you every day. I think about all the things you did for me while you were here.. In those 17 years you helped me so much. You were my friend, you were there for me.. You listened to me, and despite the fact that so many things went wrong in your life, you always found time to hug me and hear about my stupid problems. You taught me that it's okay to be sad sometimes.. You showed me that being open about stuff is a good thing.. You were liberal like me, and we had so many things in common.. I remember on the 8th grade camping trip when we went on that stupid hike. You and I didn't want to go, so we walked with eachother the entire way.. We talked about the Bush administration.. We talked about everything that was wrong with the world. We essentially sat there and bitched for a good two hours. Remember Patrick Stephens' dad? Remember how he told us he was impressed with what we talked about, even though he's so conservative? That's what I loved.. Love. About you, I love how you know so much. You're so aware, and you're so strong. You believe what you believe and you stick to that. I look on my wall every night before I go to sleep and I see the bandana you got me.. Then I look on my purse and I see the pin you got me.. The pins. And I look on my headboard and I see the magnet you made for me. The one with the rainbow flag and the small print that says Wear Your Flare! I love you baby, you only needed 17 years, but you'll live in my heart forever. 5/3/07
I don't really know what to say after that.. But I need to say something good, so I'm going to talk about happy things.. Things that make me smile. Likkkkeeee.. A certain boy named Jake. I like him, very much.. Which is sucky.. Well, no, it's amazing.. But I see myself getting really attached.. And I'm scared, because he's leaving.. I don't want to get hurt, but I guess I have to live in the now, and the now is telling me that he's an incredible person that I love hugging, I love kissing, and I love being around. He's fantabulous, everybody out there in the world, he's cool, you'd like him. Amanda approves, and well, we all know that's really all that matters. <3333333333 Sigh. He's swell. He's worth feeling a little broken hearted over in the end. =) GAH HE'S SO GREAT.
Camp starts tomorrow. I'm really excited.. Well, sad that I won't see the boy mentioned previously for a while.. BUUUUT, camp is the highlight of my year, so, it'll be good. I'm supposed to be packed like.. Now, but I haven't started. Hahaha, I suck so much.. I think I'm going to go do that.
This was nice, I think I'll explore the xanga world more often.
<3<3LoganDesAnges
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So. I haven't updated this in forfuckingever. Which is cool. And shyte. But I really kind of wanted to, so I figured I would.
I'm going to say what I always say when I post for the first time in forever, "so much has happened since I last posted." It's really true this time. I've gone through hookups, breakups, horrifying experiences, traumas, likes, dislikes, food poisoning (yuck), losing friends, gaining friends.. It's been.. Interesting to say the least.
I guess I'll just start off by talking about school. School is good. For the most part. My grades are really really.. REALLY good. Aside from grades, everything else school related is.. Alright. I never thought I'd be the type of chick to dislike school.. Seeing as I love learning and all that shit so much. But I really don't like going to school anymore. I wish I could just graduate and leave Maine.. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Maine. I love living here. But the people SUCK BALLS. I've thought about changing schools for my senior year, but what's the point.. That, and I'd probably have to pay a lot to go to a different school, and I can't afford to do that.. Unfortunately. My mom said she'd move to Bangor for me to go there, but I don;t want to go to Bangor.. They'd all hate me for being from Hampden, and it's also wayyy too big for my liking. I kind of like being able to walk through the halls and tell the life story of almost every person I see and I couldn't do that at Bangor. My classes are... Alright. A days are hard..ish. B days are way slack. My A day goes as follows; chorus, chemistry, history of american pop, precalc. My B days go like this; study hall/chem lab, creative writing, study hall, US history. So.. Basically.. Way easy. I fucking hate chem, and I fucking hate precalc.. Despite the fact that I can do both of them just fine.. I hate them with a fiery passion. Oh well, I'll get through it just fine and next year will be different. I'm not taking a science next year.. I don't think.. I'm definitely not taking physics.. If I take one it'll be anatomy.. I'm trying to decide whether to take calculus, stats, or AP stats. I'm coming back to this entry a bunch of hours later... And I don't even want to talk about school anymore.
So I'm going to change the topic.
I'm really really tired.
And I want to vent about a certain thing that happened.. But I don't think I can because of who may read this.
Just know that I hate you. You ruined so much. You took away my trust of people. You took away my ability to be comfortable. You fucked me over, and I'll never forgive you for that.
If I weren't so tired I'd write a ton more.
Meg and I went to a party tonight. It was fun. Really really random, but fun. We met these guys at District V, and randomly they told us to come to one of their houses.. Turns out there was a party.. So we hung out there for a few hours, andddddd now we're home. It was interesting. A guy I knew from a while ago, but hadn't seen in a while was there, and it was cool, we talked about shyte.
I dated.. Madison. after I wrote that last entry. That didn't last too long. I guess I don't do well dating guys from my school. Then I dated Chris. Again. That didn't last too long either. He goes to school in Florida. I couldn't do it. As of two days ago, I'm dating a kid named Gyasi. I like him, he's really cool, so I hope things are gonna go well and shtuff... He's really fucking hot..... ....=D Hah.
God I'm fucking apathetic right now.
Oh well.
<3<3LoganDesAnges | | |
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